The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
