You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize