the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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