So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
