just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
