my vag is so smooth its legendary
ugly people sure do ruin things
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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