Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
