direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
