He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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