you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Still dying that you shit outside
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
