When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
