She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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