Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
