I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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