just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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