You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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