Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
