Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
