I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize