I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
