Got a toothbrush?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
