What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
