You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Damn victory sex feels great
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
