So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
