We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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