We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
