you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
