those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I still have a little drunk in my system
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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