who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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