I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
