try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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