I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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