god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
