I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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