i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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