Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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