craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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