the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
