btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm eating all of the evidence.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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