Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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