I heard we made out
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
