hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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