it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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