im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
