OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jerry, you need to find god
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
