I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
