Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
