plz talk dirty to me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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