1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
