TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
