she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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