thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
