so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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