She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
