How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
