I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize