you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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