Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
