And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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