The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
