If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
