Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
jump out the window naked night went bad
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
