So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
