Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize